As a wife and mother (or husband and father) it is so easy to get lost in the daily grind: sleep, work, take care of the kids, clean the house, and start the cycle over again the next day. It is not ok to become a slave to your household chores and mortgage. Of course your children need love and attention and help with their homework, the laundry should to get done on a somewhat regular basis, and you have to make time for your spouse in order to stay strong as a couple.
A few months ago I began to realize that I was no longer myself and that I was not as excited about life as I used to be. I did not particularly “love” my job – it pays the bills and allows me to work from home, but other than that it’s not something I am passionate about. Sure I read lots of good books and spent quality time with my family, but I was starting to feel very one-dimensional, as though I had no story of my own to share.
The town where we live has a generally affluent population (ourselves not included!) with a very high percentage of stay-at-home moms that shuffle their kids around to this activity and that on a daily basis. When I am out in public talking to other moms, our conversations revolve around the kids and their schedule of activities, and this topic becomes insanely dull after having (or hearing) it for the thousandth time. What about art, music, and literature? What about discussions on good local hiking spots or the ethics of factory farming? These are not topics of conversation in my town, and to bring them up will usually elicit a deer in the headlights look from many of these moms, who, when they are not focused on their kids, are out shopping for the latest high-end, full-priced shoes, clothes, and handbags. Part of me thinks that we are living in the wrong town, but the other part thinks that I just need to get out there and find like-minded people. I realize that I may sound a little bitter, but I’m ok with it; I am, after all, human and can only attempt to improve myself. Right? Right.
Anyway, my point is that I started thinking about what holds my interest and what types of things get me excited. I find myself craving adventure all the time, and since I missed the deadline for “The Amazing Race”, well, I’m just going to have to go ahead and find my own adventures (and not miss the deadline next year, damn it). Here are some of the things I came up with:
- Kayaking in the Florida Keys
- Swimming with dolphins
- Hike Zion National Park
- See the Grand Canyon
- Visit Prince Edward Island and see the seals
- Join a sea turtle conservation project
- Take a pottery class
- Learn tai chi
I realized that a lot of these things have to do with water and marine life, so I started researching ways to become involved in such a thing. I found out that the local aquarium (well, sort of local – it’s about an hour and a half drive) has a volunteer program. I signed up, did a quick phone interview, and a few months later began going to a once a week training class with 30 other people who share the same interest.
Now, not only do I get to interact with and learn about beluga whales, penguins, and all sorts of interesting sea life, but the second day of my training, one of the other volunteers and I got into a discussion about a book we both recently read.
I guess I had gotten myself into a rut where I was just going through the motions of life without actually living. I am so happy to have made this one consistent change in my weekly routine, and I do plan to integrate more as time goes on – perhaps tai chi will be next on my list. I feel these changes will help my own kids to see that their life will not end once they have children of their own. It makes me think that one of the best things we can do as parents is to enhance our own lives so that it will inspire our kids to do the same with theirs…and if maybe for some reason you happen to be able to get into the aquarium for free, go ahead and take them there on a Saturday afternoon.
